Being a Blogger

Geez. It really has been a very long time. An update for all of my lovely readers who have stuck with me, my dad and I still plan on finishing our A-Z posts. Things have been crazy hectic for me, though I know that it isn’t really an excuse for giving up on a goal and a challenge. In fact, my R post has been written for four months and five days, I just haven’t gotten around to post it. I can assure you that we will be back and ready to finish what we started very soon.

It has been so long, I’ve almost forgotten how scared I get when I’m writing one of these things. It’s not even something I can explain. But I’m going to try for you all today, to give you some insight on what it is like to be a blogger.

My thoughts to me have always been a very personal thing. Of course, this would make sense, because thoughts are… you know… personal I guess the biggest difference between me and those people I admire for saying exactly what they’re thinking is just that — they can say exactly what they’re thinking! And I have a lot of respect for that. (Don’t get me wrong, if you were to walk up to me tomorrow in school and tell me that everyone hates my guitar playing skills, I would not respect that, not only because there is a difference between saying what is on your mind and being rude, but also because I do not play the guitar.)

But I have a respect for people who can say what they think because they seem to live more authentic lives. The people who can say what they think and be respectful about it generally take life by the horns and make the most out of it. Sounds great, I know.

So why is it that my whole life, I have struggled with expressing how I feel about things? Well, there are probably several different reasons.

Some times, I don’t even know how I feel about things! I am the worst decision maker ever. This can also be attributed to the fact that I hate making decisions that will counteract a previously made decision, such as me saying I want to go para-sailing after Lucinda said she wants to wrestle alligators.

But I believe that the biggest factor to my insecurity with sharing my  thoughts and opinions is a huge fear that someone will count my opinion as “wrong” or “stupid.” This is because, as previously mentioned, many things don’t evoke strong opinions out of me. This is good in the sense that many times, I can just go with the flow. However this can be bad because when I do care about something, I care strongly about it. I take my time thinking about events or ideas, so that I can really get down to how I feel about it and why it is important to me. Therefore when someone trashes one of my ideas, it is like they are tearing down who I am and what I represent. Yeah!

You guys, blogging is allllll about taking thoughts and feelings and putting them out there for the world to see. When a blogger posts a blog, he or she is basically saying “okay, here I am! You are now free to judge me as you please,” and that is scary for me, and I’m sure it is scary for many other people too.

Also, blogging is difficult! Apparently, I’m a gifted writer. That seems to be the feedback I get from peers, teachers, family, supporters of my blog, and so on. This is a weird thing for me to process! Writing comes natural to me. These “great posts” you read and give such high praise to are basically me writing down exactly how I think. What you read is how I think and feel, all the time. Henceforth, it is difficult to pick and choose what to talk about and what not to talk about.

I was talking about this with my dad about a week before we came up with the Blogging A-Z idea. He was asking me why I don’t blog very often and I responded with “because I don’t have anything to write about!” If I remember correctly, my dad responded “good grief Kee, your MIND is a blog. Just pick a topic and write about it. It doesn’t have to be something you find amazing, because it will just turn out amazing.” He said “your problem with writing is that it comes natural to you, so you don’t think its special.” (Pick a topic and write on it, by the way, is how Blogging A-Z was born.) He was probably right. He generally is

So blogging is difficult. Anyone who likes to write though, I strongly recommend that you try it. Not only will you develop better writing and communication skills, but you just might find another side of yourself that you were never able to see before. It is a challenge, and there is nothing wrong with trying and not succeeding. You only fail when you quit trying.

I don’t want to quit trying guys This is my homecoming. I’ll be back, very soon. Some of the lessons I learned this winter I believe will come into play to make a better writer out of me. I seriously can hardly wait to pick up where I left off with A-Z. I promise you all, I have a lot to write about

Lots of Love

-Kyra-

 

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